“There are no happy endings.
Endings are the saddest part,
So just give me a happy middle
And a very happy start.” Shel Silverstein
My father, my teacher, my friend. I can’t believe you are gone. I am still waiting for you to video call me like you always do and say, ‘how are you, how is life and how is my friend. I still refuse to believe you are not going to speak with me again and ask me questions about my life and my siblings and me telling you to ring them and ask after them that our call should be about me and me alone.
My children miss you too, you would call and ask after each and everyone of the and sometimes called my son by video too. He loved you and your last conversation with my family was on fathers’ day June 16th.
Dear dad, my son had made you a grandfather’s card with the inscription’ best grand dad in the world. I sent it to you via WhatsApp and you said, ‘ah that’s great, thank you can’t you post it to me and I said I would try. You spoke with my children and I and I said ‘alright dad speak with you soon, love you, take care and God bless. I even told you, ‘you would not bury your children or children’s children and you said amen. That was our last conversation for four days later Thursday you took ill, on Friday you were taken to hospital and fell asleep.
I remember wishing you to open your eyes even for one day. God answered as we all prayed for a bit more time with you. My sister video called each of us and put the phone to your ears and I said dad I love you, hope you are well, I even sand your song, ‘who killed cock robin’,. You opened your eyes in acknowledgement for a few seconds and I knew God had granted us that time to say our farewell.
My Dad with 21 lives its goodnight for now not good bye. I have also asked God if he recycled souls to please return you to your family because souls like yours are scarce, gentle meek and trustworthy.
I thank God that you did not suffer but crossed over with happiness on your face a week after you fell ill having said your farewells to your loved ones who all came to see you in the hospital. Dear Dad, I am happy you and my mum found each other for 51 years ago, would have been 52 years in July. living with the same person through thick and thin.
Dear Dad, I love you and miss you so much it hurts, I mean has anyone ever felt so sad that it physically hurts. It hurts that I will never receive your video calls anymore, you will never ask me to pass messages to my siblings and I will never say ‘oh dad this call is about me you can call them and pass your message o them’. And you would not reply,’ Oh sorry o,’. Oh, dad I miss giving you hugs. You were and still the greatest apart from our lord and maker of course.
I remember telling my children about your trip to be with God, my eldest broke down and I had to console her, my middle child threw a tantrum while my youngest was so upset because you always asked after him and sometimes called his phone to speak with him, so upset that he refused to go for football practice the next day.
Great man, Joshua, Jehovah is generous. Jehovah saves for that is the meaning of your name and you were generous, I knew you for 47 ½ years and if there is a thing called reincarnation, I would pray that I come back into your fold again when I have fulfilled my own mission on this planet.
Rest now Joshua, My father, My friend my teacher. Until we meet again. God, I thank you for the gift of a kind and generous soul.
Goodnight but not good-bye Dad you live on through your kindness.